(Kalamazoo, Michigan) Call it the Kalamazoo Conference if you will, but don’t try calling us, because we were the ones who called the election for Donald Trump more than a year ago.
Well, one of the four of us called the election for Donald Trump a year ago, and he is infamous in our Gang of Four for his prescient power of prognostication. (Yes, he also predicted that the Cubs would win the World Series in seven games, but he did predict that they would face the Tigers to avenge their loss in 1945.)
And so, when we gathered the other evening beside an undisclosed pond in the Celery City to deconstruct the triumph of Trump, three of the four asked the prognosticator for his latest prediction.
“That’s easy,” he said, gazing wistfully at the pond before them. “Trump will be re-elected in 2020.”
They wanted to know how he knew.
He explained: “Same way I knew a year ago that he was going to win on November 8. I live in Michigan. I listen to my fellow Michiganders. I know they are not happy with the status quo. When Trump said he would make America great again, they took that to mean that they would have good jobs again. Good roads. Good schools. The whole works. And nobody promotes Donald Trump better than Donald Trump, and he’ll do it again in 2020. Mark my word. Now, let’s go eat.”
And so the Gang of Four heartland pundits went to an undisclosed restaurant of a certain ethnic persuasion and broke pita together.