THE ROOT OF ALL EVIL

THE ROOT OF ALL EVIL
Flash Fiction
by Charles McKelvy

The best clippers money could buy.

The woman at the garden center promised that “these were the best clippers money could buy. They’re spring-loaded,” she said. “The best!”
So he bought the clippers and went straight to work on the tangled undergrowth that was his front yard.
Hey, the village was threatening to fine him up one side of Sunday and down the other if he didn’t clean it up in five business days, and he didn’t have the wiggle room at the moment to pop for a lawnmower, so he bought the best clippers money could buy.
And he was sure, as he clipped away at the stubborn undergrowth, that he would never get to the bottom of it all.
But then those clippers, with a sixth sense all their own, pulled his hand deep into the densest thicket and opened hungrily over an imposing, blood-red root.
The clippers were so happy they actually hummed.
For they had found the ultimate prey, the very reason for their manufacture in a slave labor factory far from these shores. And they seemed to beckon him to squeeze the handles and severe the gnarled root.
Yes, a gnarled root, but THE ROOT OF ALL EVIL.
So he squeezed the clippers and cut THE ROOT OF ALL EVIL.
Hot, syrupy sap suddenly oozed and hissed out of the severed root, and, in no time flat, the world was one happy place.
Peace and love steered the stars and there was no more need for guns, bombs, or the federal goon squads, or the lying banksters and their pocket politicians and presstitutes.
It was THE DAWNING OF THE AGE OF ACQUARIUS.
All because he had gotten that citation from the village and gone to the garden center and bought the best clippers money could buy.
###

About charleymckelvy

Charles McKelvy lives and writes in southwest Michigan with his wife and fellow writer, Natalie McKelvy. They established the Dunery Press in 1988 in order to publish their own fiction. They continue to do so to this day. Charles McKelvy is an Eagle Scout.
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1 Response to THE ROOT OF ALL EVIL

  1. Zoe Elrick says:

    I see that you’re clipping the Oriental Bittersweet Vine, an invasive exotic species. But, right next to it is a Virginia Creeper, a good native Michigan groundcover.

    Yes, don’t we wish sometimes that we can use our garden clippers to remove ignorance, fear, hate, greed, corporate greed, prejudice, injustice, violence, pollution, habitat loss, etc. Well, also it takes love to grow a garden too. Awareness, courage, love, and caring do help to mitigate ignorance, fear, hate, greed, violence, pollution, habitat loss, etc.
    The root of typical modern evil (ignorance, fear, hate, greed, violence, etc.) is that many modern people don’t grow gardens or play outdoors in nature. Growing a garden helps people to develop their awareness, courage, love, caring, and a sense of joy, peace, and harmony. If someone did some research on violent people and peaceful people, I think the findings would be that peaceful people have more likely grown a garden and that violent people have less likely grown a garden.

    Love, Peace, Joy, and Gardens!

    See how my summer garden is growing at https://zoemonthlyblog.blogspot.com/

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